Pizza
by TheOtherBookwormFangirl
Summary: Just a bunch of drabbles based on tumblr user pizzaisback and her posts. Doesn't really have much to do with Good Omens, but I figured, why not make her one of Crowley's demons. After all, she doesn't really do that much harm, just screws with people's heads. :P Please review! (T for language) Probably a crackfic, sorry. XD
1. Ch1- merypandy

**A/N: This is my first thingy on this account, hope you like~! :D I got a lot of ideas from the tumblr user pizzaisback (thank you for giving permission btw :D) so here are my scenes based on posts! Ps, I don't know anyone's names, so I made some up based on the URLs. I hope you don't mind! If you want to correct me in a review or PM, I'll change it. :) Also any other details about yourself.**

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 _Original Post can be found on tumblr_

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A teen sat in her room with nothing to do. She logged on to tumblr under her username 'merypandy' and decided to make a post.

 _Okay, they say theres a user called pizza that appears everytime you say pizza, so... PIZZA_

She clicked _Post_ and scrolled through her dashboard for a few seconds, wondering what else to do. Suddenly, there was a strange sound from behind her, like solid wall turning into something about as liquidy as tomato sauce. She turned around.

A girl wearing a black T-shirt with a pizza on it stumbled into the room through the now-soft wall. "Yo."

"..." The teen sat in her chair, mouth slightly open, staring at the person who just turned her bedroom wall into tomato sauce.

"You going to say anything?" the stranger asked. After there was no response, she shrugged. "Oh well. Time for the next one on the list." She turned and climbed back through the wall, which solidified behind her.

Finally, Mary broke the silence left behind by the girl. "What. The fuck."

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 **A/N: Please review! Next drabble thing coming soon!**


	2. Ch2- majestic-flower-child

**A/N: Here's the second drabble! :D Disclaimer: I own none of the Tumblrers mentioned in this fic and do not know anyone's real name so I'm making them up based on the URLs, if you want it changed, feel free to review or PM me. :) Original posts can all be found on tumblr.**

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Margaret had heard about a Tumblr user named 'pizza' who showed up everywhere and, with nothing else to do, grabbed her laptop and crawled into the secret passageway under her house. She climbed down the seemingly endless ladder leading down and down and down, until finally she started to see a reddish glow coming from below. She had arrived in hell. Margaret proceeded to open the office door marked 'LUCIFER'S PRIVATE OFFICE. DO NOT ENTER.' and climbed under the desk after checking to make sure no one else was around. She curled up in the corner underneath it and opened her laptop, logging on to Tumblr with her username majestic-flower-child and posting, "Tumblr user pizza will never find me here."

Suddenly, a pair of shoes appeared at the edge of her vision. A loud knock on the top of the desk made her jump, and she instinctively pressed further into the edge of the desk. A teen wearing a shirt saying 'Eat Pizza/Hail Satan' along with a picture of a pizza leaned down to see the girl under her uncle's desk and smirked. "I find everybody. EVERYBODY."

Margaret stared, wide-eyed, at the stranger, who flicked her wrist and the next thing she knew, she was back in her room. She only had one thing to say, and typed it out on her laptop which had been brought with her.

"gUYS GUYS IT HAPPENED"

Oh, and also... (out loud) "What the fuck."

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 **A/N: Ta-da! I hope you guys like this and don't judge me as a writer for putting this crackfic thing as my first piece of writing on this account. OTL Ily pizza :D Please review everyone!**


	3. Ch3- A Plot Bunny on Crack and Coffee

**A/N: I meant to write this way earlier, but it kinda didn't happen DX So I didn't feel like putting effort in so this isn't really based on a specific tumblr post but I had the idea and it seemed pretty easy to write so why not. :P I do not own anything, this time the character is me, I do not own Miss Pizza, I do not own Crowley or Satan. Please review, and sorry again for the crack. XD**

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Belle was scrolling through what she referred to as "the fandom side of Pinterest", and in the middle of a particularly lengthy headcanon about how to get into Hogwarts House common rooms, she realized she was actually hungry. It was- she checked the clock on her computer screen- one thirty in the morning. She shrugged, grabbed her iPod and earbuds, and started down the stairs, opening YouTube and clicking 'My Mix'.

 _Oh and now,_

 _The end is near,_

 _And I face that final curtain..._

She smiled at the slow jazz-y beginning and opened the fridge, searching along the shelves. Ah, leftover pizza! She grabbed the plate, removing the plastic wrap and throwing it away, and put the plate in the microwave. AS she waited, she danced to the now-faster pace of the song.

 _-what's that sulfurous smell?_

 _Oh, I can feel-_

 _The fire-_

 _Creepin' up my thigh~_

 _I'm goin' to Hell (he's going to hell)_

 _In a handbasket (in a handbasket)_

 _It's a Bohemian Rhapsody~_

 _Oh Galileo, Mama mia, scaramouche, scaramouche, ol' Beelzebub's got a devil put aside for me~!_

The microwave beeped, and she opened her eyes- when had she closed them? Probably when she started singing along- and took out her food. "Mm," she inhaled the smell, "Oh, how I love you, pizza."

"Love you too, random stranger," an unfamiliar voice came from behind her. She jumped, her earbuds pulling out and her phone and plate falling to the ground. The stranger in her kitchen suddenly widened her eyes and reached an arm out towards them, despite being too far away to catch them- Belle prepared for the crash to wake her family-

It didn't come.

She blinked and looked again. The plate, pizza slice intact and resting on it, hovered a few inches from the dog-hair-covered carpet. Her iPod was also almost to the ground, but to her amazement, the two began to float up to the counter, the song continuing outside her earbuds.

 _-pray if I had the guile_

 _No this ain't no fib_

 _I'd rather be a stain on the Devil's bib_

 _Cause on my knees repentant ain't my style~_

"Nice music," the unknown girl commented. She was kind of cute, to be honest. Belle mentally slapped herself- now was not the time to become Jack Harkness!

"Why are you in my house?" she managed to ask in a faintly demanding tone. Good. Keep it up, Belle. Be more accusing. Don't go all socially-awkward now.

The c̶u̶t̶e̶ ̶g̶i̶r̶l̶ _unknown intruder in her home seriously Belle stop it with the Harkness_ shrugged. "And here I was thinking you loved me." Before Belle could properly process all the _what-the-fuck-even_ s of the remark, the _intruder_ disappeared in sort of... the opposite of a flash? If that made sense? Kind of like a flash, but dark instead of bright, and leaving behind a faint scent of sulfur and almost-burned pepperoni pizza.

Belle knew there was only one thing to do when something as _weird af_ as this happened: Tumblr it over a nice slice of microwaved pizza and some music.

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 **A/N: Idefk okay it just kind of happened. It was supposed to be something else but the plot bunny discovered crack and caffeine so this happened. XD Please review! I've been trying to update daily but the first chapter was up after midnight, and the second was just before midnight the same day, and this is- what? The second day of this fic's existence? Is that right? Yeah, okay. Second day, technically, but third chapter. And look at that, seven minutes until the third day. What even is this "updating schedule" you speak of?**


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